F*** YOU, STPM!!!!! 


I swear if you're a thing, I'll smash the hell out of you with a big damn gigantic enormous hammer till you become microscopic dust! Damn you!!!!! >=( 

CHANGE

This week's been like a fucking cursed week!! Nothing's sailing smoothly!

I'm just so full of frustration I can burn down a house! 
I'm so full of disappointment I can cry a river! 
I'm so fucking mad right now I can tear you into pieces! 

God, please guide me through this journey coz I'm just too weak I might just fall into pieces...
Bless me so that I can stay strong, stay sane.. 
For when I lose my mind, nothing's going to end up right..

Today's the day 1st time ever in history that I cried for a stupid waste of time subject paper!

I knew the day's gonna be rough coz I didn't have the chance to get much rest and was having weird dreams haunting me throughout my "sleep". Pure shitty day! I went to school with confidence that I'll at least able to do the whole paper, ended up a whole pile of stuff undone. My hands were practically shaking  during the last hour coz I knew that I wouldn't be able to finish the entire paper. 


Till the very last minute I still try to scribble, but seems like it wasn't much of a help. By the time the papers were out of my sight, I know if I don't hold myself together, I'm gonna breakdown right on the spot.Quiet and walking with quick steps, I got into the car and the next minute.... Yeah, I broke down.. I wish that he was here, with me, holding me, comforting me, soothing me, humming some la-la song..  ='(  

Stress??

From this second, I've got around 28hours or so to my first STPM paper! Damn! Now only I started to get a little taste of being tensed up. There's so much to do and time is really running out. At the same time I just want all this to come to an end, a happy one preferably but we couldn't choose do we?

Examination haven't start but I'm already thinking of what to do after. Is all this due to excitement that finally all will be ending real soon or just because I had given up long ago? I always ponder upon this but just couldn't find the answer..

Once exams over, I guess that would be the end of school life. I am sure I'll miss everyone real bad especially those crazy friends that had been by my side and the lovely teachers that guided me all along.

Pray hard now, I'll be needing all that! ;)

Yesterday was a pure bad day.. 

My ko-kurikulum marks were a disaster, no thanks the teachers. Finally got rescued by the ever-so-kind Mr Sazli. Everything will be settled on Monday. Phew!~ 

Then when to see the doctor as I realised there's blood in my urine. And as I expected, there's stone particles in my urinary tract. Sigh! Hope the medication works, or else gotta do laser surgery. To add on to that, there's some stuff in my uterus, abnormal size it seems. Gotta go see a gynae all. Seems like I'm just full of crap for now. This sucks! :(

Dearest bf just got back from Cameron. Gosh! Was I so excited to see him! It just felt weird to let my weekends gone without him. ><"

Guess what's the first thing he said when he saw me? "Baby, I'm sorry!". I was like, "Huh? What for?". He showed me a sad face. "I'm sorry coz I didn't get you flowers from Cameron. They didn't sell roses at those places we went". And the best part was that he actually gone to florist stores trying to find roses but they were all closed. That silly darling! He's just the sweetest thing! :)

Instead of roses, I got a cute lil hot pink coloured cactus. LOL! We named it Mimi. =D 

Mimi will be the witness of our love growing as days passed and grow along :) It's been 6months now! Things are as sweet as how it started and I hope it'll always be.. 

I LOVE YOU, BABY! ♥