Mar 23, 2012

The hidden truth

She was in a very sad atmosphere for months and months. No one ever realized how hard she tried to keep that smile pasted on her face to hide the scars that run so deep in her heart. She cried to bed every night, thinking about the miseries surrounding her.

"Silence might be a bless", she told herself. That is her principle she held, not wanting to burden others or rely on them for support. What can be so hurtful and at the same time haunting her thoughts all night? No one knows, no one heard but only those who experienced it with her knew. Years by years had passed, but the same situation occurs again once a while. Why can't life be easy on her? Why can't it be fair to her? For once, she wished she knew the answer as tears of sorrow flow down her cheeks leaving warm trails behind them.

No one said life would be easy, she knew that all along. She never expect life to be a fairytale, after all that she had been through in the past. Everyone has their hidden secrets, who would know if there is cracks in your fairytale if you did not tell? From the eyes of others, they would always see her smiling ever so happily, living the dreams of many. But the truth deep down, she has so many untold stories that was never meant to be shared. She would cry herself to sleep, bearing all the sorrow and pain along. Swollen eyes, dried tears and a numb heart, that is when she can finally nap some rest.

She lost the one she loved the most, the one she would sacrifice all for him. She thought he would be strong enough to bear it all through with her, but she was all wrong. Regrets and regrets is all she has for him now, nothing can take that away. She blames herself for being selfish, for not sharing her thoughts with him. If only he knew...

IF and only if...

So many possibilities could have happened, that's with a simple "IF". If only he knew, things would have been different. If only he knew, he might still be hers. If only he knew, she might not go through all these alone. If only he knew, they might had last forever.. But end of the day, she realized that all these were just wishful thinking, that she has to go back to reality and face everything by her own.

Little did she knew that "the one" she had asked to be blessed, might had given up long ago. That he had been putting his hopes and faith on someone else while she was struggling to patch things up. Has it ever crossed his mind, that his actions will break her already fragile heart? Untold tales were meant for his good but things were seem as too complicated for him. Who was she to him? Was everything so easy to be let go and forgotten that he can walked away just like that without a glance back? Was everything she given is never enough?

She ponders till now, left without an answer.......

Oct 16, 2011

What is wrong? Why can't things be easier? 
     So many things I wish for but it all seems to be impossible. I wish that he'll realise what was wrong in the past. I'm not asking for much, only for him to realise the situation and understand. Only if he understood by then..

     People tend to misunderstood your thoughts and clash with them when they have their own point of view. Only if humans can understand each other more.. 

I'm so sick of the whole situation. It never seems to end, just like a bad dream that always haunt you. The past haunts you, the present worries you and the future scares you. Only if I still have him and only if he would understand me better. Yet again, I've learnt to not expect too much as it'll only disappoint yourself by the end of the day. 

All in all, I just want to release some emotions here :)

Feb 24, 2011

Finally, I got the old you back! It feels so good! I didn't expect expressing my true feelings will make things emotional :) Glad you're back on board twinny! So happy! At one point I thought I was gonna lose you.. Thank God that my words still can cramp its way into your brains and have some effect! :D

Hope things will get better :)


Jan 16, 2011

Today I met a friend.. Although I said that I don't really enjoy her presence around me anymore, I guess somehow I was wrong. I missed her, I missed those laughter we shared, those tears we been through together, those stupid jokes we made, those gossips that we can go on with forever..

So, I decided to start all over again, try to forgive and forget what's past, try to accept their weakness better (every human being has their weakness)....

All in all, I hope things would get better, my mood would get better, my irritation would get suppressed better and EVERYTHING WOULD BE GREAT! :) 

Wish me luck! Adios!~

Jan 12, 2011

Lol, I jz read Aik Leng's blog after so long din sign in.. Had a good laugh, she is an adorable one! :)

Went to Secondhand Serenade's showcase, it was AWESOME!!  They were so nice and John's just plain charming! :D Bf took some vids at the showcase but there's something wrong with that stupid phone, ended up all vids no sound.. Sigh! Truely depressing! :( But they were just good, epic ending with " Fall For You "! :D Supper at Murni, came back with huge tummy! Yummy!~

Hmm, human relationships are funny aren't they? When someone's important to you, you care for them but when they're gone from your life, you couldn't care less. Friendships are worse, you can be good friends, and the next moment you're strangers to each other. Bonding between humans does take time, effort and compatibility I guess.. To all those friends whom I'm close with now, I hope this remains. To those whom I befriended with, I hope our friendship could last and we would always keep in touch :)

As for others, I shall let God decide :) Time for bed! :D

Dec 20, 2010

finally, SHOPPING!! :D

This was on Saturday but now only wanna blog about it :)

I stumbled across this fb page of a cafe named Citrusplus, and the pictures of the food shown seems nice so we decided to give it a try. It's in SS15, next to RHB bank. We reached there with growling stomachs and thank God the food wasn't disappointing :)

I ordered spaghetti meatballs and a cup of hot chocolate..

The meatballs are really nice but it would be better if they do sth about 
the sauce, it tasted like ketchup :(

Some sort of chicken curry rice named "Devil's Peak"

The hot chocolate was no good, but the chicken cream soup was nice (there's chicken chunks in it).. 
Overall rating : 6 / 10

After the meal, we went for a short shopping trip in Sunway Pyramid and watched "Due Date". Not bad if you're looking for a comedy movie, it's full of idiocies and vulgar words. Lots & lots of the 'f' word.. LOL!

Then proceeded to Bangsar, shopped at Peacocks London as dearest bf got cash vouchers! :D Apparently, this is their 1st branch in Malaysia. There's a few dresses which attracted me but there's no size 4! None of the clothes I'm interested in has a size 4! The smallest size they have is size 6. Wth! I wonder if they are just out of stock.. End up bought a bag while bf bought a pair of jeans. Had dinner at Buffalo Kitchen. 

This is what that greeted us :) 

Came with some salad but Mr JC ate it  ><"

Food was nice, ambience was great.. Overall rating : 7/10
Whole day of shopping but only got a bag and a shirt. This means... 

More shopping trips to come!!  :D

Dec 17, 2010

I couldn't sleep..  :(  Here's the lyrics of one of my favourite songs. It can represent love and also "emo-ness"..

Everytime We Touch by Cascada

Enjoy! :)

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last
I need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go
I want you in my life

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky
They wipe away tears that I cry
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all
You make me rise when I fall

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last
I need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go
I want you in my life

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last
I need you by my side