She was in a very sad atmosphere for months and months. No one ever realized how hard she tried to keep that smile pasted on her face to hide the scars that run so deep in her heart. She cried to bed every night, thinking about the miseries surrounding her.
"Silence might be a bless", she told herself. That is her principle she held, not wanting to burden others or rely on them for support. What can be so hurtful and at the same time haunting her thoughts all night? No one knows, no one heard but only those who experienced it with her knew. Years by years had passed, but the same situation occurs again once a while. Why can't life be easy on her? Why can't it be fair to her? For once, she wished she knew the answer as tears of sorrow flow down her cheeks leaving warm trails behind them.
No one said life would be easy, she knew that all along. She never expect life to be a fairytale, after all that she had been through in the past. Everyone has their hidden secrets, who would know if there is cracks in your fairytale if you did not tell? From the eyes of others, they would always see her smiling ever so happily, living the dreams of many. But the truth deep down, she has so many untold stories that was never meant to be shared. She would cry herself to sleep, bearing all the sorrow and pain along. Swollen eyes, dried tears and a numb heart, that is when she can finally nap some rest.
She lost the one she loved the most, the one she would sacrifice all for him. She thought he would be strong enough to bear it all through with her, but she was all wrong. Regrets and regrets is all she has for him now, nothing can take that away. She blames herself for being selfish, for not sharing her thoughts with him. If only he knew...
IF and only if...
So many possibilities could have happened, that's with a simple "IF". If only he knew, things would have been different. If only he knew, he might still be hers. If only he knew, she might not go through all these alone. If only he knew, they might had last forever.. But end of the day, she realized that all these were just wishful thinking, that she has to go back to reality and face everything by her own.
Little did she knew that "the one" she had asked to be blessed, might had given up long ago. That he had been putting his hopes and faith on someone else while she was struggling to patch things up. Has it ever crossed his mind, that his actions will break her already fragile heart? Untold tales were meant for his good but things were seem as too complicated for him. Who was she to him? Was everything so easy to be let go and forgotten that he can walked away just like that without a glance back? Was everything she given is never enough?
She ponders till now, left without an answer.......